Some Things Read Today

Some things from today that I’ve read, found interesting, and shall pass along to thee*:

And nearly every evening I see this guy sitting in his car in the hotel parking lot talking on the phone, and something about it makes me sad. I don’t know what he’s saying or to whom. For all I know he just spends an inordinate amount of time ordering pizza or engaging solicitors. But I assume he’s talking to his dad or his sister or his best friend or his old coach, someone or some combination of people who care about him a whole lot and want to hear about his progress and performance in Port St. Lucie. It takes a village to raise Minor League bullpen depth.

– Ted Berg, “The Lobster Pot”

Going by the title, I thought this was going to be a sandwich review. Alas, something more rewarding. Nice Spring Training reflection from Mr. Berg.

*Unrelated: I’ll recommend the Wikipedia page for the word “thou” as additional reading, if you find yourself bored today. The short version: “Thou/Thee/Thine” were originally (and I guess still are) the singular second-person pronouns in English, with “Ye/You/Your” serving as both the plural second-person and the formal singular (sort of like how Spanish has usted and tu for formal and informal situations).

In other words, 500 years ago, you, as an English speaker, would refer to your friends as “thou/thee” as a term of endearment and familiarity, while addressing, say, your teachers and adult strangers as “Ye/you” as a sign of respect.

Anyway, translations of the Bible into English used “Thou/Thee” in reference to God, in order to express a family-like familiarity with the divine. “. . . hallowed be Thy name,” that sort of thing. The unintended consequence of this being that, when thou/thee fell out of use, the once-informal pronouns assumed a formal meaning because of their continued use in the Bible in reference to God. (Shakespeare doesn’t help either.) So today we use “thou” to express a ironic formality, i.e., a misbehaving child asking his mother, “what doth thou now desire, my Queen?,” and “wherefore art thou Romeo?” is generally read as a formal, lofty language. But this is really like people 500 years in the future using “my bro” and thinking it a formal turn-of-the-millennium address for the President of the U.S.A. 

Also, the Ye (i.d., y’all) in “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and the Ye (really a “The” printed in a funny script) in “Ye Olde Sweet Shoppe” are different words. Wikipedia is our civilizations greatest achievement.

Let’s check in with the Marlins!

[Marlins’ President David Samson] called politicians “not the intellectual cream of the crop,” adding about the entire population, “We’re not the smartest people in Miami. If you’re in this room, you’re instantly in the top 1%.”

. . . “To parents, I would say “Your son is very cute, but he will never be a Major League Baseball player,” Mr. Samson said. “Every Major League player was the best player on every team he was ever on — by far. And that’s every Major League player.”

– Scott Blake, “Miami Marlins president Samson criticizes elected officials, Miamians, press”
Miami Today

Mr. Samson seems like a nice guy. I’m really pulling for the Marlins this year.

Also, I’m not going to post one here, but has anyone seen recent pictures of Jose Reyes without hair? Turns out, beneath those dreads, he had a funny shaped head and a receding hairline. (The LeBron James parallels continue!) And with that I’ve moved through all five stages of Reyes-to-the-Marlins grief. I’m finally ready to make fun of him as if he were any other player on a non-Mets team.


Filed under Words

3 responses to “Some Things Read Today

  1. AV

    Two things:

    “But this is really like people 500 years in the future using “my bro” and thinking it a formal turn-of-the-millennium address for the President of the U.S.A.”

    Isn’t that what the movie ‘Idiocracy’ was about?

    ““Every Major League player was the best player on every team he was ever on — by far. And that’s every Major League player.””

    While I don’t agree with his tone or his criticism of his own team’s fans, this is actually a valid point. The best player on my high school baseball team is a doctor today, not an aspiring minor leaguer. The best player on every team in my high school’s league never played professional baseball. Many fans often forget the high level at which even the 25th man on a major league roster is capable of playing.

    • Patrick Flood

      1. It’s what plants crave!

      2. Yes, Samson is probably correct. It’s more an issue with the general ’80s-movie-villain tone of his comments.

  2. “Wikipedia is our civilizations greatest achievement.” — Yes, it is. I even donated… both cash and a correction to their D&D article.

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